04-05-2025, 04:49 AM
I feel awful everything was fine one moment the conversation seemed to be flowing okay. But then your tone changed. Why did it change? Their must have been something that I have done. I want to ask you about it. No scratch that I have to ask you about that because if I don't that might make you hate me. But what if me asking you makes you hate me more? Now I don't know what to do and I am caught in this emotional hell trying to figure out what I should do or even say at this point. But it's my fault if only I wouldn't have talked to you in the first place then i wouldn't be in this situation. I hate you now you are the problem you are the one who made me feel this way. I was fine totally fine until your tone changed in the conversation and now all i can think about is what is my next move. I play it over and over and over. Meanwhile you have no idea i am doing this or that anything is wrong in the first place. So now i am thinking about all the ways i should cut you out of my life because i don't want to be hurt by yet another person leaving. I don't want to have to feel that pain. Hating you and getting rid of you is easier than it being my fault that you left because you couldn't handle the truth of me crying over something you didn't even know you were doing. So instead I pretend I am okay. I leave you. I hate you. Then I end up hating myself because its my fault I lost you in the first place. The tears will fall weeks will go by of me ignoring you and trying to pretend you never existed in the first place. Because I don't want to fucking feel anymore pain!!!!!